I’m still around

Well a few things have happened since I last posted.  Four years later and we are still dealing with my mom’s estate. My sister a Narc and more who is the conservator has been playing games year after year.  So many lawyers have quit the case due to it being drug out, now there is no lawyer only her to deal with and she never responds. There a lot to this but no point going into it.

I found out I don’t have Fibro. Sadly, I wish that was the case. Apparently all the aches and pains I’ve had since I was a kid was due to Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, specifically Arthrochalasia.  Life got so miserable that I had to quit my job.  I could not stand for more then 2-3 minutes without feeling nauseous, dizzy and having micro black outs. I had an MRI and ends up that I have cranio cervical instability, scoliosis, instability in C4-C6 and my brain stem is being compressed.  There’s a lot of issues this causes, including it being hard to vocalize sentences properly, I can’t remember a lot of verbs, my speech does not come out properly.  I have difficult concentrating and have issues with my eyes. There are a ton of co-morbid symptoms and they suck. I went through a very dark period and still do as I spent money retraining myself and now I can barely use my hands.  I wen to Dr.s here and they were not helpful, there are so many horror stories with that.

 

Each time I’d wait 9 or so months for my appointment to be told they won’t run a test etc. My MRI and diagnosis we had to save half a year to do.  I have been walking since April walking slowly taking about an hour to walk a mile.  I’ve kept up with it nine months. I was walking for two hours slowly. However I’m having neck/back issues again and my progress is slowing down and reversing.  It’s scary not knowing what to do.

 

My relationship with DH has broken down beyond repair.  We tried to get him diagnosed with ADD – Inattentive but despite meeting criteria he does not have school records of ADD like symptoms nor can his parents vouch for his behavior in childhood so they won’t give him a diagnosis. This has caused so many problems.  Despite this, I think there is something more going on.  I spent years writing about his FIL’s behavior and how it traumatized me.  My DH’s behavior has traumatized me.  I was so focused on his FIL and the hell we lived in that I didn’t have mental energy to process everything going on with DH.  He has caused so many issues it’s ridiculous. And some might be due to ADD.  But he is very manipulative, gas lighting, circular arguments for hours, projecting, nit picking, baiting me in conversations, pretending not to understand me and blowing things out of proportion etc.  This had made me mentally unhealthy and I had to make the decision to move on.  Which frankly is scary by yourself with no support system and when you can barely do anything and unsure how to provide for yourself.  However I hope in the future I can keep getting better – although there is no cure. I just thought I’d come and update the blog.

 

Oh and things on the job front still sucked. Worked at a well known place here and endured abuse, them not paying me nor giving me breaks etc. It was hell, I literally had to quit due to health and harassment.  Rental place went to hell.  They tried to charge for a duplicate gas bill and when questioned about it made up charges that weren’t paid for other months, but wouldnt’ say which months. Then finally they said which months which were already paid but didn’t want to see payment proof, but would keep ignoring questions about it, etc. It was months of stupidity. After that the gas bill (run through the landlord) shot up the next three months and then we stopped using gas. (It doesn’t say on the bill the useage we’ve used either) The month we stopped using gas – dead of January – our bill was 170…for no gas used. Other stuff happened that was shady but we’ve been without gas for almost a year now.  No hot water, no heating, nothing.  Which causes a lot of health problems for me and may be causing this set back with my joints.  The place is constantly around 45 degrees and it’s painful and drives your sanity to the brink. Ah and they didn’t fix the shower either for a year, so we have to bathe in the sink and boil water. So I actively have to bend over the sink to wash my hair with CCI… which makes me nauseous and makes my head hurt all day. All for the around $1300 a month. Because the gas is working we have no claim nor does it need to be “fixed”, so nothing that can be done basically.

 

So life has been whatever.  Needlessly painful and annoying. I hope I can get up money and move in a few months. Anyway, needlessly let myself get into another abusive relationship.

 

 

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