The strange man at the furniture store


I thought I would write briefly about this strange man I met at a well known furniture/full housing item store recently.  I was getting some items for the new place – toilet scrubber etc and was browsing the discount aisle. Everything here is usually in good shape but discounted because of it being a show item, fell out of the wrapper etc. Anyway I saw a bed I was admiring upstairs and in the size that would be perfect for 50% off. Buying it would make things tight but passing up the deal would be stupid as we kind of need a bed…


I was standing by the bed while DH was off asking CS about delivery options. A store employee walked up to me and asked if I needed help. I asked about delivery area, pricing etc. He answered the questions then started asking me about myself. If you are an expat you are used to this. People will say hi, comment that you are not from around here then bombard you with about 10 questions then walk off. (Some of the questions are really invasive to me anyway – do you have kids? *looks at you like a monster when you say no* then demands to know why not) Forgot trying to engage them in conversation, they just want to know all your details and then they are done with you.

So the guy starts asking me where I’m from and I groan inwardly. I tell him then he asks where I live. I tell him the town. He tells me he went to university there. I ask what he studied, he ignores the question completely. Then he gets this god awful look on his face – menacing and almost wants to get into a fight look. He asks me “Did you come with that guy?” I turn around and see some guy standing there. I tell him no, I’ve never seen that guy before. The man’s face instantly relaxes and he asks the guy what he wants. After serving the guy he comes back and keeps asking questions. He then tells me as he just discounted an item for the guy that he could probably lower the price. I said thanks that would be nice. He tells me to get a trolly for the bed so I walk towards the area to get it and the man stays back kind of after walking me half way there. DH has returned to our cart at the end of the aisle and I must pass by him to get the trolly. DH follows me and the guy gives the same death glare. I get the trolly and bring it back. The man has discounted the item by almost 100 pounds. DH comes up and helps load it on the trolly and the guy still gives him the death glare then acts very cold towards me. Whatever.

So we go to the checkout and get plastic and arrange for delivery. The man came over to the CS area to glare at DH once again. Very creepy. I mention this guy because quite frankly I’m sure he was trying to chat me up. Which is fine, it happens, but he was asking a lot of questions and when I ask in return he ignores them. (red alert) Also the look on his face when the other customer came up looking for help – it was angry and the fact his face went back to “normal” immediately when I said I didn’t know the guy. (red alert) The guy however never asked if I was in a relationship or married etc. The fact he followed DH to CS and glared at him (red alert).

This guy made me think that if he had a girlfriend he probably never allowed her to talk to anyone, leave his sight/house and could possibly inflict physical violence towards her. I was half expecting the mattress to be pissed on when I got it.

Quite frankly, the man made my skin crawl. Someone out there is going to be abused by this man.


Two more loads


Well, about two more loads of stuff (Where we’ll put it who knows) and we’ll be out of here. Usually I go over to the new place in the morning but today I am staying here. The ogre mentioned something on his calendar about the boiler and it being a five hour window for something. A repairman maybe? The boiler isn’t acting up though. Regardless he is here. I stayed because I don’t want him coming into the room nor the excuse again that a repairman needs in here (when he really doesn’t). Either way if there is repairs we were not told anything about it, as usual. 

We’ve not said anything to the ogre and won’t until we leave unless he finds out sooner and then he will tell us that if we have money to move out then we have money to give him. We barely have enough to move and no clue if enough to actually eat for the next month, but we’ll figure it out! So we definitely do not have money to give him to stay in the loop of being unable to leave. I read the visa requirements that are needed at the end of the year for me. One of them states that if you have lived with friends/family during any part of my two years on the visa that I must have a note written and signed by that person confirming it. So who knows if the ogre will. DH has a statement typed out and will print out later for the ogre to sign. Who knows if he will. If he does not I’m not sure what we will do when we apply for the visa. He may outright refuse. This may be visa sabotage attempt number seven… sad it even got to one let alone would be up to seven. How do you explain to the people deciding if I can stay with my husband that the ogre has a personality disorder, is sick, malicious and abusive? So, I hope he just signs the damn thing so we can continue to get on with our lives ogre/abuse free.


Anyway, about 4.5 hours and I can eat breakfast. Been waiting 4 so far. It will be so nice when I can actually eat, go to the toilet, bathe etc when I need to. So even though the other place is a junk pit hell hole at least with a little work it will be decent and I can live my life again. 


New Place progress


As I was clicking “new post” just a moment ago I got a phone call. One of the places I applied for (the faeces place) and interviewed for said that they wanted me for the job. It doesn’t start for about two weeks, but at least it’s something. Although their ad said in all caps “great rates of pay!” and it ended up being 5p over minimum wage. I laugh. After the last job where they changed the rate of pay on me I wonder if someone else would have gotten better pay? Ah well, at least it is something to tide me over for about six months then I will need to find another job. It also allows me to have weekends off I believe, is on the way to DH’s job so I can get dropped off and if there is no overtime I have evenings free. So, all in all it is gross work but works out ok for the meantime. It is amazingly hard in my area to find full time work that is unskilled.  In the meantime I will work on learning some other skills that may help me next year with a better job.

Anyway, things are going OK at the new place – getting it ready. I got most of the room finished. I am tidying up the house a bit but stopped, the pigsty room mate told me to stop moving his things and was going to meet us last weekend to go through things but something happened and he could not – then DH had a 24 hour virus that left him with a fever and he could hardly walk. I’m a bit frustrated that the room mate can’t go through his shit without us being present. We basically have to keep bags of kitchen things, bathroom and extra furniture in our room (will not be able to have room to even put the computer) and suitcases (basically the whole room filled with crap sitting on the floor) until our room mate clears out his stuff.  It is really disappointing and frustrating. There is a garage storage unit for the place and it has been full according to them for years with previous tenants stuff but they cannot find the key that or someone has taken over it. Regardless it’s somewhere for us to store stuff. Why they haven’t moved the other stuff out and their stuff in there before they lost the key boggles me. I guess I wanted them to be able to sort out their crap so we could actually move in without issue. >.> I am probably not describing this well, basically there really isn’t walking room in this house. I need them to sort this out…

Speaking of one of the roommates he seems grumpy. No thank you for working on redoing the bathroom (which lets be frank, DH and I have little money to be putting into paint, caulk, plaster repair stuff) just stop cleaning and moving his things. (Which moving his things means putting stuff together – putting books back on a shelf and putting odds and ends thrown everywhere in a box for him to sort through, etc. I really hope I don’t have to lock horns with this guy. I don’t want to go from one miserable situation to the next.






New place


This post isn’t so much about the ogre, but more about our move. I have been spending the last four or so days at the new place trying to clean and fix things up. It is a bit tiring. The house is occupied by two men who haven’t cleaned this place in years. Probably at least 4 or 5. It’s a hoarder den. It took me 3 hours to clean a 4×4 bathroom the other day and I’m still only halfway done. I clean stuff while paint is drying on the walls. I am painting and repairing plaster and clearing furniture out of the bedroom. I spent five hours yesterday cleaning out the living room which is about 7×9 – that is only halfway done. 

I’m a bit frustrated. It is such a bizarre house and filthy. Whoever built it way back when built all the rooms very tiny and odd shaped. The main bathroom upstairs with a shower is about 4×4 at the max. There are no towel racks, mirrors, no places to put shampoo and such. Very strange.The kitchen is also about 3-4 feet wide. So far while cleaning the living room I found rocks on the floor. I picked them up and found that there were holes that go down to the dirt. The rocks are covering them. Things in the house that were patched or fixed look much like a five year old did it. There are paintings on the walls that were actually painted around – You move the painting and it is a different color behind it. The bed that was left in our soon to be room had slats under the mattress. But the slats were not screwed or nailed on. They were attached by mail packing tape – not even duct tape. 

So there is a lot of work to be done cleaning and sorting these guys things along with getting the room ready and trying to move stealthy. Tomorrow I will paint more and hopefully the hardware place will be open so more paint can be bought – about running out of paint. I got some moisture paint in a buy 2 get one free deal so I can kill the mold all over the bathroom and then paint it. DH and I found a charity shop that sells furniture so we got a few pieces and that will be delivered cheaply later this week. All in all things are looking up. It’s a lot of work to be done, but at least it will be a place to call home. In a few months I will try to get things fixed – like boiler, oven, lights and try to build some shelves and such for our things. Maybe keeping busy will be good, it will help me forget about here.

And with any luck I will get a call back and interview (last week they said interviews this week) about a job kind of nearby. It is a gross job dealing with… lol feces… but it may pay well and is steady work for at least six months, good hours and I may have weekends and evenings off. So pros/cons. Ugh… it’s back home – the ogre… slam slam. Can’t wait to work on the new place again tomorrow. 

Had a crappy easter


Literally. Crappy. I woke up this morning and the ogre was still here. After waiting to see if he would leave I gave up and went to the bathroom. What is in the toilet? Just the usual pieces of shit he leaves in there for us. I thought he had gotten over that as he’s not left shit in there for us in about a month. Our counsellor says it’s his way of marking his territory. I think it’s the only way he can reliably punish us – I mean everyone has to use the bathroom sometime right? There is no avoiding it. We will see his shit in the toilet.

So I flush it and go. Before the ogre heads out he goes into the bathroom again and is in there maybe 2-3 minutes (bathroom is next to our bedroom) and I don’t hear really any sounds – no handwashing etc. He leaves. I go into the bathroom later and what do I find? He’s taken another shit and closed the toilet lid. I go downstairs, the door to the other bathroom is left ajar – that toilet is full of shit too. WTF. 

DH came home and needed to use the bathroom – what else could he do but flush it. And sadly flushing it lets him know we’ve seen it and dealt with it. Likely he gets his jollys off over it. This man is just nuts. 

A few hours later…


It finally leaves after taking a bath so I go downstairs to get my breakfast. At you know, 6pm. There is a note on the stairway and it’s from the ogre in his barely legible writing. It says not to use the bathtub there is something wrong with the plug – and signs it “Love, dad.” Really? Love as in what? You just went on a tirade earlier. You also (I forgot to put this in the last post) again called DH and I’s marriage a project in that smug way you like to. “What are we going to do about this project?” “You mean my marriage?” “Yeah.” I love how the ogre is always involved in our project and it’s always his burden to bear. And he keeps calling it project because he knows it gets under DH’s skin and how could it not? 

It cracks me up that he signed it: “love, dad.” Has this man ever felt any love in his life. Oh, I should probably also mention DH’s birthday came and went two weeks ago. Did he get an acknowledgement, a card, anything? Of course not. However the ogre made sure to put on display near the front door a card, gift and bottle of wine for someone else’s birthday last week. 

But with any luck the ogre’s calendar says “lunch on Sunday.” It doesn’t have a time which means it could very well be another lunch party here. I’m guessing that’s why he just bought two more boxes of dinner plates. The nine sets he has already are not enough. There must be more. BUT! They are Tesco branded dinner plates… he wouldn’t use Tesco brand, his plates must cost much more than Tesco branded ones! What if the company found out it was Tesco brand!! What would they think?! At first we thought it must be a gift for someone he hates but then sure enough I see the mystery lunch entry on his calendar, so who knows. Only time will tell because he won’t tell us ahead of time, maybe in the morning of if we are lucky and that is only to claim some chairs we are using. 

Narc Rage


Welp, it’s that time again kiddies! The monthly Narc rage blowout staring our favorite ogre!

DH and I had a huge fight last night which is not resolved and AGAIN on the backburner to the Ogre’s shit. So DH was already having a bad day. He comes home for lunch and the ogre lets him in. Not a good sign. The ogre performs these acts of kindness when he wants to trap you. You cannot run away, although I told DH he should have just turned and walked away. Instead the Ogre spoke at him (no conversation here) and told him in a sing song important voice that DH will be charged for certain things. What things?

Keep in mind that only cash is wanted not the same item/brand etc purchased for replacement.

20 pounds for rice used.

40-60 pounds (I forget) for a missing pyrex dish.

40 pound charge for finding rice (supposedly) in the sink.

40 pound charge for clearing a blocked drain over Christmas. Yes, Christmas. (Apparently we did it, never mind it was blocked with black pieces of mysterious plastic type stuff that comes out of the tap when you run your bath. Creepy? Very.)

Also the ogre again tried to bully DH into finding out how much money he makes etc. etc.


So DH was in tears and apparently lost his cool and talked back to the ogre. So we’ll see what further punishment comes from that 😦

So besides trying to move out a little at a tiny in a tiny car on only days that we can meet the house mate after 6:30pm and we can only move things for an hour before the guy goes to sleep (works 12’s) on a day and time DH isn’t busy with random work calls during the day, it’s not easy… oh yeah and fit all this in on times the ogre is gone! It’s madness. We only have one possible day this week and weekend to move anything and the ogre has no plans that we know of that day. We still have to paint the room and there is still shit in that room from the previous people to move. I wish two things – I could drive here and also DH didn’t use the car all day for his job. I would load stuff up and haul it over myself, but no. Nor can we hire people – no money to and you can’t tell people to come over at a moment’s notice. Some might say just let him see us moving. Um no. As much as he complains do you really think an abuser wants us to leave? No, he would no longer have control over us.

If anyone has suggestions I’m willing to hear them – must be cheap and at a moment’s notice. Also we will need to give the keys back I don’t want him trying to charge us for changing the locks or whatever. What is the best way to hand over keys with proof you did so? Video tape it?


Edit: I must also say we haven’t figure out what the rage is for. Yes it’s monthly but really what was the trigger. We have only two possiblities. We A) Watched tv in the living room twice last week for around 3 hours. The ogre has since been downstairs every night now in the evening watching tv which he hardly ever does. DH thinks he is cockblocking the tv now. Watching tv isn’t a big deal, it was just being out of the room that was a big deal. B) Ogre left the bathroom door unlocked twice last week. DH walked in once and I the other. Both times he was naked. Thankfully I was spared the worst as he was in the bathtub. Or could be C) When he snuck into the bedroom while I was in the bath last week and possibly spotted our heated drying rack. It could have angered him that we got around his other punishment – you know only he is allowed to use heat and the radiators to dry his clothes but we must put ours out in the cold and rain to dry and wear damp moldy smelling clothing. Who knows!