Not Your Kind of People

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I had to reblog this: Perfectly explained…

Little Red Survivor

If you’re an empathetic person, you could easily become the target of a toxic narcissist. This is not your fault, but awareness can help you avoid such pitfalls. When it comes to supplying their needs narcissists know there is no one more likely to keep feeding them than an empathetic person.

Empathetic people have been known to put their own bills on hold to pay for someone else and if that someone else is not holding down a job, they are probably a narcissist.

The narcissist has a victim mentality. The boss didn’t like them, so they fired them. The landlord didn’t like the way they decorated with spray paint and graffiti, so they asked them to leave. They would pay their bills, but they can’t find a decent job—decent being relevant to their ego’s demands. Besides why work when you can get people to work for you?

Crow

An empathetic person who has…

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Maggots…good gravy.

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I’ll start the post with some irksomeness. I mean after all this is my dedicated place to rant, right?  As I was making DH dinner last night I thought I’d sweep the floors. It was only a few days ago I did it, but the floors get nasty fast in here. As I am sweeping I see something on the floor. I bend down… and it’s wiggling. Yes, a f-ing maggot. I kid you not. I thought maybe this is why there has been a strange death stank in the house. Maybe something crawled under the house and died? So I sweep it up and go to toss it outside. And I pass by the bins which slob roommate has put out in the backyard now instead of just keeping them in the front yard. I open the bin. God, why did I even do that. Maggots everywhere inside! All over the top of the lid inside. As I type this my head feels like something is crawling on my scalp. The same reaction I get when I hear someone has head lice…. 0_0

This is the general garbage bin. We have a separate food waste bin in the kitchen but slobmate has been having people over and they keep putting their food waste in the regular bin along with their recyclables. So, since slobmate moved the bins to the back porch randomly I had to drag the bin through the house and out to the front. Maggots falling everywhere. That’s what I did yesterday. Swept maggots. And they will only get bigger as the bin will sit there till Monday. In the bin on the top is a cardboard box. Which again should go in the recyclable bin. So someone put that box in the bin, saw the maggots and said NOTHING about it and probably shut the bin and got tiny maggots knocked onto them and carried them into the house. EWWW! 

So that made me a bit irritated yesterday. The mystery stink is still upstairs.  I threw thick bleach on the toilet grout in there last night and left it. Someone has pissed on the floor in there in the past and I’m tired of the piss stank. That however isn’t the horri-bad stank we’ve been smelling. So, who knows. 

In other annoying news, the trio of bitches who made DH and I’s life miserable in an online community we were active in have noticed our disappearance – because quite frankly I’m at my limit for dealing with people with mental illnesses that get their jollies off on causing you misery. Well he told me last night the three of them have sent him skype invites. I have had them blocked for some time so I won’t have to hear from them. That just brought up bad memories and made me crabby last night. 

Talky roommate came down and tried to bait me I think and get me further worked up. I swear. Thankfully he is at work today. I can make dinner and go back upstairs before he comes home and goes to bed.

In better news I got a call today about a cleaning job. The hours are alright, the pay well… better then nothing. The company is fairly big so hopefully they won’t dick me on stuff. The agency that called me today was one I had a run around with several months ago. So I’m not going to get too excited right now. I’ll wait and see what happens and if they decide to hire me. DH has been putting in extra hours at work so that when he gets paid the check will be decent. 

I’ve been working on the garden here. I have nothing planted because well, no money for that right now. But I figure until then I can get the place cleaned up, weeded and fix things. First things first. DH and I take loads of junk and debri to the dump each weekend. The yard is slowly looking like a normal yard. 🙂 I will post before and after pictures once we have plants in.

I was looking again for volunteer opportunities and found one…but wasn’t what I thought it was. I really want to help people in domestic violence/abuse. The opportunity was to help the offender. No, I want to help the victim. Simply hanging out with an offender and talking with them is not going to do much good. I know some may think I’m heartless. But the reasons they inflict abuse on someone cannot be solved by befriending them. So, I will look elsewhere. Once everything is settled with our lease I will go to the council and see about getting some loan equipment for picking up trash. The town I live in is kinda trashy in parts and I’m tired of looking at it. As long as they will collect the bags and loan me gear I’m happy to go nuts for a few hours a week and pick it up. It really is an eyesore and brings the whole place down a notch.

Meh

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As a sad but humorous addition to the last post about the poop place – I recently visited a Polish deli in town and saw that an employment agency was advertising the same job at poop place for 6.19 which is less than minimum wage. I checked the employment agency website for the job and there is absolutely no sign of it on there. Of course not because it’s illegal! DH said he wants to put on a fake Polish accent and ask them about the job then when they say it only pays the 6.19 to tell them they are scum in his regular accent. I can’t blame him, I think about it myself. 

Things here are pretty Ok. There has been more drama with my family and my mom but I’m not going to post about that because quite frankly I’m a bit scared to. I don’t want a certain family member finding this. So I will avoid it for now. Regardless now I have to disclose this legal proceeding and something that was done to me on my visa application. I honestly wish I could divorce my family. Being no contact with several members – 17 years and 6 years – you’d think I’d just be left out of all this. Nope.

An immigration bill was passed this month. They are having non EU people that don’t have permanent residency pay a levy for health care now. I would be affected but not sure if I’ll be charged due to already paying for my last visa before this change. So hopefully there will not be a charge, we are pretty broke as it is. I don’t want our counselling sessions interfered with. We have about 11 more days of having little money for food. Oh the joys of moving on low wages and DH starting a job and not getting paid for a month. Next month we should be Ok though. 

Still no word from jobs. I amused myself and applied for a job last week somewhat related to my old career field. They said they’d get back to everyone within three days. Not counting the bank holiday the rejection day should be today. No one would hire me for a 20-30k job here. But might as well give myself a laugh once in awhile. 

The roommates are still … slobby. One only showers about once a week and stinks up the house with pit BO. I’m not sure how to even begin to discuss that. DH and I keep our door shut and light incense. The same one has been trapping me in hour(s) worth of conversations you can’t escape from about everything Anti-American. I like talking about differences in countries and politics but if I mention anything that the British are doing that is wrong or annoying I get cut off and talked over about America this and that. It’s annoying. I avoid this person now to the best of my ability. They work long hours so it isn’t too hard. That’s just part of the annoyances. This person also questions everything you are doing. I may have mentioned this previously, I can’t remember. Are you painting something? Why are you doing it like that? Making lemonaide? Why are you using still/tap water instead of fizzy? Why… why…? For… everything. 

Second roommate has been having his girlfriend over which he has confessed to having some sort of mental illness and she is on several types of meds for it. So who knows how severe it is. This guy cooks to try to impress her I guess, then invites others over and then leaves the kitchen a wreck. Sink full of dishes. Guess who is getting to wash most rounds of these? Me to the greater extent, DH a little, roommate very little. One day I washed all his dishes, went out shopping came home and he had come home and cooked again and the sink was full. I had not even got to cook a meal in between them being clean! This is the hoarder roommate btw. I despair. At least it’s cheap rent right? At least it’s not at the ogre’s house right? Right.

So there are downsides to it all. Right now it’s the mysterious moldy rotten meat smell that appeared last night in the house for no reason. Your guess is as good as mine. 

 

Poop place

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I called the poop place. I told them about the job ad with the differing pay. At first they claimed they never posted it. Then said they would call me back. Then they claimed that they must have posted the ad and I quote “8 or 9 years ago.” Then said they would only pay me the minimum wage. I was asked if I want the job or not. I said that I have not had time to have the contract looked over by another and no thank you. (There were also errors in the contract as well anyway – like the quit notice times – one page says one week then later in says two weeks in writing etc.)

 

Sad thing is – No one would have paid that much for the job 8 or 9 years ago.

And…. the website which it was published on – which is a club for a certain immigrant in a nearby town- the club wasn’t founded until the end of 2009 it says. I’m sure they didn’t get their website up immediately either, so the guy was lying. Pathetic. 

Ah well, dealing with fecal matter all day which no protective gear supplied probably not a good thing anyway. I’ll find something else.

Update – Escaped, Mom is still nuts, new job not so honest

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It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged. I really haven’t been feeling like it, as the blog served as an outlet for my feelings a place to rant etc and things have been moderately good. Well, DH and I moved out and got the ogre to sign a paper that I had lived there during my last visa. After he signed it he left and we loaded the last of the stuff into the car and left for good. We did not say a word. DH still has the keys. I said I would mail them sign on delivery but I don’t know what’s going on with that. We’ve not heard from the ogre and it’s been over two weeks so he knows we’ve gone. Likely he’s changed the locks anyway. 

The new place is OK, like I told DH it will take weeks/months to get it in shape… what kind of shape I don’t know. I have not been going at it like I was previously but have estimated I have put in over 200 hours trying to fix up and clean this place so far from the month before moving in till present. The back yard looks like the city dump and our fence just collapsed the other day into the neighbors yard. DH and I have taken about three trips to the dump so far with matresses/garden debri etc that were thrown out there. I hope to get it cleaned up by July. 

One of my roommates has his shit in both the living room and dining room and fills both rooms. I cleaned up weeks ago and it helped but he grouched and told me not to touch his stuff again so now I have left it and it is back to being terribad again. I’m going to start poking him though about it, it is a bit ridiculous. I like working out in the garden though… it’s nice to be outside and I have claimed it for my own. I don’t have to wait for someone to clean it because I will do it all myself. (Well except for the broken washer set outside…) 

I have been feeling better now that I am not constantly terrified and my heart isn’t racing all day with door slams. I have however experienced three times of seeing someone’s shit sitting in the toilet. Last night someone shit didn’t even try to flush it and put the lid down. So DH is going to ask the roommates about it – whether they don’t want to flush the toilet past a certain hour or what. 

I got an email from my bro the other day, which I never do. I guess my mom’s lawyer is mailing me (supposedly) something to sign asking if I will come to the states for a competency hearing.  I could fill another blog with all the abuse from my mom. I went NC 17 years ago. But apparently she committed arson (No big surprise with her, she’s done worse) and they are looking to put her in a care home for crazy old people. So that instantly stressed me out. Also I had to give my address to my bro to pass along for the paperwork which may get to my sister who is crazy, stalky and abusive as well. She likes to appear on your doorstep out of the blue. Thankfully where I live it is harder but still… the stress of the unknown. I’ve had to end friendships with long time friends just she wouldn’t get info on me. She’d bug them, act nicey nice then they would give her details and addresses like idiots. Anyway…

The poop place I was suppose to start at today. They actually waited until Friday to mail me my offer letter and contract. I got it on Saturday. It said to just sign it since it was sent so late and to fill out medical forms and they will figure out if they can employ me. Wha? During the two weeks waiting on this DH started his new job and has picked up an extra responsibility in the morning now. He could drop it if need be with some notice but the contract coming so late made it impossible for me to give DH notice to give notice so he’d have the early morning free again so he could take me to work. I would also have to bring my passport, BMR to do paperwork this morning and I do not feel comfortable leaving that out of my sight as I would have to leave it in the office while I work outside today. There are not employee lockers, nothing. It is all outside work. Not even indoor toilets. As well, I found out that the director/person who hired me lied to me. He advertised the job also on a Polish website. (Which cracks me up – because he knows no British person will do the job. Must resort to immigrants) He advertised the pay much higher + said the pay would go up after training. WHAT? Yes… this again. This would be my second job where they have changed the rate of pay down when I have been offered the job. And I was not told pay would ever raise after training, the only thing said to me about raises is on the contract. Pay will raise after 5 years of working at the company. 5 years.. LOL. So, I’m pretty pissed. Not sure what I should do really. I wish the offer letter and contract would have came sooner so I could have read and made a decision. Oh and the place where I sign on the contract says I have read the employee handbook which is not supplied. It is located in the office.. so I would have to sign before even reading it. I’m just…. I really hope this other job hires me. I also found out from a couple different people that the BS with the lady who threatened to sue me and made me come back to work was illegal. I just want a fair paying job offered to everyone at the SAME pay without trying to pull one over on me.

Anyway… that’s my rants for now. My new post will be more positive.