Ogre also told us because he likes telling us either nothing or stuff last minute that the guest room was going to be used soon. You know, in the next two days… Apparently asshole is leaving to get his mother and bringing her back for Christmas. At least we were told the night before he was suppose to leave and get her, instead of you know, the time we randomly come home one day and are told that in 4 hours DH’s aunt is arriving from another country to come stay. As Ogre is suppose to be back the 20th, that means the old lady will be here a minimum of five days plus whatever else time she stays after Christmas.
This is a dilemma for so many reasons. First, as far as DH and I are aware Ogre didn’t tell his own mother that he’s an asshole and making our lives hell, that his own son and his wife hide away from his covert psychological abuse and games. I highly doubt it. If anything, I’m sure she’ll strangely adapt to the attitude that the rest of DH’s family has about us. They don’t like us, but they won’t tell us why. And honestly I don’t care that they don’t like us. If DH was not comfortable going to ANY of his family members years ago to get help about his dad abusing his mom, then no big loss. We can only imagine the Ogre has gossiped some untruths about us.
I wonder, did the ogre tell his mom that DH and I are anti-social weirdos that stay in our room for no reason? Then when she comes she’ll see that we do infact hide away, but never know the real reason = Ogre’s made up reason confirmed. The grandma of course is going to want to see DH, but DH is not going to want to go downstairs and hang out with her with the ogre lingering about. I guess he could take ol’ Gran out to dinner to spend time but we don’t money for taking her anywhere. I’m not going to pretend everything is fine for a week or more. Nor can I tell the lady the real reason because then it will get back to the ogre and we will definitely find our asses out on the street. I get tired of these situations.
So DH is going to ask one of his friends that we flat sit for once in awhile if we can come over there. That of course will not be without problems. I’ve written about this friend before. I don’t want to go back over there. There’s this air of fakeness between him and I. I don’t think he likes me, and I don’t like him. I don’t think he likes me because he had and I think still does have a crush on my DH. Yes, the man is gay. He asked DH out and DH said no. The guy has a catty attitude with me at times and I feel like I have to just smile and ignore it to keep the peace. The last time we stayed there he pissed me off something fierce – and if we did come stay for a long period of time over the holidays he would be there for some of that time. He’s always silent walking around in a bad mood, pacing and pouting about something. It really puts you on edge. It puts DH on edge. The last time I saw him which was about a month ago – the ogre was gone so people came to the house to play a game DH runs instead of going to another’s house. Within two minutes of the man being there he already pissed me off.
I don’t really like people getting touchy with me. I can take hugs. I can take, although they make me feel uncomfortable, kisses on the cheek from people. But this guy likes to um, eat your hair, pull on your hair etc. in affection. It gets on my nerves. Ok, I hate it. Especially with someone whom I don’t really like. But I go along with it and let him do whatever so there aren’t any hurt feelings/drama. He hangs all over DH and gives him kisses. It’s irritating. It’s irritated me for years and I made a stink about it once and made to feel bad about it. I just endure it now and avert my eyes. It’s not the gay thing that bothers me, it’s the fact I feel he’s still not over his crush of DH.
Anyway, last time I saw him when he came to the house I was going upstairs and gave him a hug as I was leaving. He started eating my hair again and we talked for a minute and I made a joke – which I and others and HE has made before with no issues. I told him that he really likes head huh? So he slapped me in the face then I went upstairs. I had to refrain from attacking him. The whole thing made me mad for so many reasons. First, the joke has been made as I said in the past with no malice with no issue and he always laughed. Second, I wouldn’t say anything I thought would offend him even though I don’t care much for him, he’s still DH”s friend. Third, slapping me was a bit overboard I think. He’s called me a bitch several times (in the guise of playful, but who knows. I just consider it’s in play) and I’ve never decked him. Fourth, then I feel I have no right to be made because I made a sex joke. Do I deserve the slap in the face? Who knows.
So, I don’t want to go to his place where it is nasty dirty, he’ll be there stressing DH and I out and making us feel unwelcome like he does. He always says we are welcome then treats us being there is an inconvenience. We always try to cook meals for him, clean up his apartment and buy groceries for him there but it’s not really enough. So this is what I’m faced with, ask to stay over at dudes place or hang out here for a week. I’m not sure which is worse.
Another thing to factor in, DH’s sister will likely be over to visit the gran. That means if we are gone she WILL be in our room and so will the ogre. I’ve caught her on three separate occasions trying to get in our room (I was here upstairs being super quiet and she’s opened the door and come right in and got the surprise of her life. She turns right around and walks back out) and she’s stolen our baking sheets before. (And whatever else I don’t know about) So it’ll be the fun time of trying to hide our important papers and wondering what was stolen or rifled through while we were gone. I think the fact that even though I stay up in this room mentally I still don’t view it as safe. People still come in whenever they like and go through my things/steal them. It’s pretty much the worst feeling right now.