A bit more research on the ogre

I have been spending a lot of time reading through various people’s experiences dealing with passive aggressive and other personality disorder people in their lives.  The website is at:  http://outofthefog.net/forum/   and it is a great resource for coping with people with personality disorders.  After reading the last couple weeks, I really do think the ogre in addition to his passive aggressiveness does show signs of narcissistic personality disorder. I am bolding much like I did with the passive aggressive list which traits he has. If you go through this blog from the start you will find a snippet written that involves each and every one of those traits.

Narcissistic traits  via Wikipedia:

An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges
Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships
A lack of psychological awareness (see insight in psychology and psychiatry, egosyntonic)
Difficulty with empathy
Problems distinguishing the self from others (see narcissism and boundaries)
Hypersensitivity to any insults or imagined insults (see criticism and narcissists, narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury)
Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt
Haughty body language
Flattery towards people who admire and affirm them (narcissistic supply)
Detesting those who do not admire them (narcissistic abuse)
Using other people without considering the cost of doing so
Pretending to be more important than they really are
Bragging (subtly but persistently) and exaggerating their achievements
Claiming to be an “expert” at many things
Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people
Denial of remorse and gratitude

Hotchkiss’ seven deadly sins of narcissism

1. Shamelessness: Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.
2. Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.
3. Arrogance: A narcissist who is feeling deflated may reinflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else.

4. Envy: A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person’s ability by using contempt to minimize the other person.
5. Entitlement: Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special. Failure to comply is considered an attack on their superiority, and the perpetrator is considered an “awkward” or “difficult” person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage.
6. Exploitation: Can take many forms but always involves the exploitation of others without regard for their feelings or interests. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed.
7. Bad boundaries: Narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist are treated as if they are part of the narcissist and are expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist there is no boundary between self and other.

(Narcisstic information taken from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism)

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4 thoughts on “A bit more research on the ogre

    • Thank you Wendy! I want to show this to DH when he comes home tonight. What really struck me in your article was that it mentioned that Narcs never want to be alone. That really rings true with my abusive PA Narc FIL. My husband and I cannot just go about our lives and try to avoid him in the house, he must be present. He follows you into every room and monopolizes rooms which he knows you’ll need to go into – like the kitchen. He will be in and out of the kitchen for 5-6 hours a day – and he cooks maybe once a month. He won’t be in there cleaning, cooking or washing dishes. He will pick up a spoon, look at it and put it down a few minutes later. Then walk off, come back and do really trivial things but take a long time while he is in the same room with people. Is it common for Narcs to just wander around aimlessly really doing nothing?

      • I’m not familiar with someone wandering around aimlessly, but they do not want to be alone. Perhaps this is what it takes at your place. They are extremely uncomfortable alone.

  1. Pingback: John Wender – Classic Narcissist « John Wender

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