It’s 6am. I’ve finished sitting down stairs with DH having a freak out. DH has been sleeping downstairs as we had a falling out. Its sad when I have to ask him if he was the one who came into the room last night. Well, he wasn’t. So unless it was a ghost it was ogre. Yeah, that’s right. The man I am terrified of came into the room last night when I was asleep and alone. The man who has made me change the way I dress because he looks at me like a piece of meat just strolled in here last night. WTF.
The ogre stopped slamming the doors about 12:30 last night and thats when I finally got to sleep. I guess I should also mention that I was bad last night and ate some pizza for dinner which affects my coelic disease. It makes me extremely tired and puts me out like a log at night – then I wake up all sinus-ey. So, if he knocked I did not hear him. But he has come in here before not knocking, so I wouldn’t put it past him not to.
How do I know he was in here? Because for once I slept with the light on. I woke up at 5am and it was off. Now some may say he was just being nice shutting it off. No. He isn’t. He doesn’t think like other normal human beings. He could have left the light on. It was the first time and not hurting anything. Thank god I was so tired last night I fell asleep in my clothes – hoodie and all. Usually I sleep with a lot less on.
He has shut the light off in the bedroom here before. Wait.. did I just say that was the first time I slept with the light on but he’s done that before? Well, after the blow up last year he opened the bedroom door (no knocking) gave me his usual death glare (I was sitting up in bed reading my book) and flipped off the light switch and stomped into his bedroom. That’s right, he came in that one time just to turn the light off on me while I was reading to be a childish dick.
So now this has made things worse. I am now really nervous about going to sleep at night here – well to be fair there was a period where DH and I were both scared – we’d put the trash can in front of the door for a few weeks in case he came in here in the middle of the night to harm us. If he opened the door we would be alerted. But eventually we stopped. Now I’m back to being worried. DH said to put something in front of the door and try to get some sleep. And I can’t have DH come up here and sleep with me because I have to have my boundaries too – having him sleep with me in the same bed will help him think everything is OK between us, which it is not.
So today I cringe. His dad is on a roll right now. I wonder what is in store for today. He gets on these kicks where he just makes our life utter living hell. DH didn’t want to go to work this morning – I reminded him that amongst his already 12 hour days he needs to pick up more hours because now we need to buy some sort of heating drying rack to put in the room because we can’t use the radiators. On top of that there is no room in the bedroom for that, so he said he will get rid of his books so we can move the makeshift pantry from in front of the radiator and instead put a rack there. Never mind that would leave us about 2 inches between the drying rack and the bed to get into bed. But whatever. You can see the stupid hurdles we have to jump through just to accomplish something like drying our fucking clothing because the ogre makes simple tasks so hard.